Here’s a classic piece of fan mail from the laziest toker ever.

Dear Officer Downey,

I can’t take it anymore. I need to tell someone. Sometimes I’m too tired to go upstairs to pee, so I use the kitty litter box downstairs instead.

Yours Truly,

Mr. Housetrained

Dear Mr. Housetrained:
You know what? Sounds like you’ve got it all figured out over there. As long as your cat doesn’t want to press charges, you’re good to go.

And remember Housetrained, the next time you turn around, turn around again...’cause I’ll be there. 

-Officer Dick Downey, Badge #710


Type: Indica-Dominant Hybrid (Indica/Sativa % breakdown unknown)           

Chunk Dawg  =  East Coast Panama Chunk  X  I95  

Bedford Grow

Date Purchased: 06/11/2016

Delivery Method Used: Clean glass pipe

Cannabinoids Profile: THCa 20.70%; THC 1.07%; CBDa .22%; CBD .08% (LK Pure Lab)

TIP: To learn how you can use this cannabinoids data to better your health, see the Cannabinoids Library page. 

Phenotype Profile: For old fogies like this reviewer, many of this flower’s characteristics screamed old school in very good ways. This 1/8 oz sample offered a thoughtful selection of two sticky well-developed buds, which were medium and light green with darker sugar leaves and loaded with orange hairs. There were a few longer sugar leaves remaining on the bud, but not as if the trimming was done carelessly.
           Bud Density: 4  [1-5]

Terpene Profile: The intact buds emit some classic, old school Kush-like aromas of earth and hash with pine and light chocolate and herbal notes. Once ground, the intense Chemdawg fuel aroma comes out of hiding and mingles with sweet-pine and herbal notes. The thick, expandable smoke is nostalgic but with a little Stardawg bite. Tastes of pine, fuel and sweet hash, especially on the exhale. 

TIP: To learn all about terpenes, see the Terpenes Library page. 

Effects: The lineage comes through in the effects. Again, it’s part time machine. An old school, cough-inducing Indica stone with a hair of the dawg’s energy and spaciness. There’s also a good chance of couch lock.

Duration of Effects: 2+ hours   

May Help With: body pain, muscle aches, arthritic symptoms, muscle spasms & trembling, nerve pain, insomnia, headaches, some GI issues, nausea (and more)

Refreshing old school style with a Dawg twist.

NOTE: For details about this 1-5 Rating Scale, click here.

Never argue with crazy.

-Officer Dick Downey, Badge #710

Chunk Dawg: A Confession

Case: Chunk Dawg (flower)  


File Date: 06/14/2016

Case No: 0018

product packaging. A wide mouth white plastic pill bottle with a green twist off top.
product photo. An eye level shot of two sticky well-developed buds, which are medium and light green with darker sugar leaves and loaded with orange hairs. A heady blue glass pipe sits off to the right side of the shot.