Yesterday I received this email from my mother.

Hi Dickie,
It’s mom. How’s the very best police officer in the world these days?

Listen, I didn’t know how to say this to you in-person, so I’m emailing you instead. You know your mom ain’t gettin any younger. Between the nerve pain in my neck and my arthritis, it’s a lot tougher for me to get around these days. And the 3 pills they started me on are now 6 to deal with the side effects of the first 3! So Dickie, today I started my application for medical cannabis. Now before you give yourself a hernia and put cuffs on me, I'd like you to come over tonight so we can talk about it. Okay Dickie?

Love Mom.

Dear Mom,
My own mother just told me she’s going to be a burn-out. That just does. not. compute. I'm stunned. 
Clearly, I failed to protect you from the devil’s vine. 

...BTW, Are you gonna do your meatloaf tonight the way I like it, with the real Parmigiano-Reggiano and curly parsley?


Type: Sativa-dominant Hybrid (approximately 65% / 35%)

Golden Goat  =  Island Sweet Skunk  X [ Hawaiian  X  Romulan ]

ISS = Skunk #1 pheno X Sweet Skunk            Romulan = White Rhino X Sativa N.A.

The strain made popular in Colorado is a Hawaiian/Romulan male crossed with an Island Sweet Skunk mother. Originated in Topeka, Kansas and was an accidental pollination that led to the final genetics of this strain. Supposedly named after a recycling company from that part of the country.

Green Thumb Industries (GTI)

Date Purchased: 06/30/2016

Delivery Method Used: Clean glass pipe

Cannabinoids Profile:
THCa 24.47%; THC .95%; CBDa .99%; CBD 0% (ACT Labs)

TIP: To learn how you can use this cannabinoids data to better your health, see the Cannabinoids Library page. 

Phenotype Profile: This batch of shake was comprised of at least two-thirds of small, very dense, neon green and orange-haired ‘budlets’ of dank, distinct-smelling Golden Goat (see pic above) and the rest in actual shake form. All of the shake was seed-free and still fresh with a nice level of moisture – not a dry shake at all. Both forms still retained full potency. Physical characteristics far exceeded expectations for a ‘shake’ product.    

           Bud Density: 5 [1-5]

Terpene Profile: Once ground, this sample burst of bright, intense aromas of sour grapefruit, citrus, melon & skunk pungency and sweetness. The pine of the Romulan influence is noticeable in the mix. This is a terpenoid tropical rainbow of wonderful dankness. Tasted sweet, earthy and pungent, especially on the exhale.

TIP: To learn all about terpenes, see the Terpenes Library page. 

Effects: The effects are a sustained trippy, loopy mostly cerebral experience combined with a mild body high in the background. This is some powerful stuff with a strong spacey element. You might find yourself floa-ting in a most pe-cu-li-ar wa-ay. The experienced and/or adventurous will covet this strain. First-timers should proceed with caution; this strain easily causes raciness and anxiety.  

TIP: You’ll definitely want to grind these budlets since they’re very dense and reveal much more product when ground, which is especially important when using to make cannabis butter or other types of extractions.

Duration of Effects: 2.5 hours

May Help With: mood, stress, depression, fatigue, nausea, ADD/ADHD, mental & creative focus, mild body and/or nerve pain for some (and more)


Exceeded expectations for a shake product in every way. This was a superb material of mostly high quality budlets and traditional shake without any loss of potency.

IMPORTANT: This reviewer has only purchased GTI shake once and, therefore, is unsure if all GTI shake product contains the same ratio of budlets-to-shake as was received in this sample. Other patients have described receiving a similar mix in their GTI shake purchases. That said, future batches may or may not be this type of mix. The cultivator has said future batches may not have as much budlet.

NOTE: For details about this 1-5 Rating Scale, click here

This is gonna take all of my CI skills. That's Crisis Intervention, tokers.  

And remember, the next time you turn around, turn around again...’cause I’ll be there.

-Officer Dick Downey, Badge #710

Golden Goat: Too Close To Home

IMPORTANT: As of July 2016, GTI's Shake products are sold ONLY at GTI's The Clinic Mundelein

product photo. An eye level shot of a small round black wooden bowl filled with small, very dense, neon green and orange-haired ‘budlets’ of dankness.
product packaging. A four inch high black plastic pill bottle with a black twist off cap.

Case: Golden Goat (flower in shake form)  


File Date: 07/05/2016

Case No: 0023