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Officer Dick Downey's Pot Report
Green Crack: Driver's Ed
Your Illinois Cannabis Authority
Case: Green Crack (flower)
File Date: 05/16/2017
Case No: 0114
Last week I’m sitting in a Wendy’s® parking lot finishing my #5 Combo when I did a double-take. I swear I see a little kid sitting in the driver’s seat of a moving car, who can’t be more than 7 or 8, seated on the driver’s lap and steering the car on to a highway on-ramp! I can’t believe my damn eyes and I immediately pull over the car.
I approach the car and sure enough a little boy is sitting on the lap of a middle-aged man. The boy is crying and tells me, “I don’t want to go to jail”. The man is literally nodding off with this child on his lap.
The driver, who I confirm is the boy’s father, refused to cooperate with me. This Father-Of-The-Year was too drunk to even say one coherent word. I arrested this poor kid’s dad and was obligated by law to turn the boy over to Child Protective Services.
Type: Sativa-dominant Hybrid (approx. 65%/35%)
Genotype: Green Crack = Skunk #1 X ?
Green Crack, aka ‘Cush’ or ‘Green Cush’, was supposedly first bred in Athens, GA in the 1970s. Snoop Dogg gave it the “Green Crack” moniker. The lineage is sketchy. Some sources claim there are two distinct phenotypes; one Sativa-leaning and another with 75% Indica influence. Other sources claim there is only one pheno and it’s a cross of Skunk #1 and an Afghani strain.
Purchased On: 04/30/2017
Packaged On: 04/24/2017
QA Tested On: 02/09/2017 (included in the absence of a “Manufactured On” or “Harvested On” date)
Net Weight: 3.54g
Purchase Price: $60.60, tax included
NOTE: I do not identify dispensaries in my reviews. However, if you want to know the shop that's offering this pricing, I will provide it to anyone who requests it.
Delivery Method(s) Used: clean, glass pipe
Cannabinoids Profile: THCa 25.48%; THC .60%; CBDa 1.70%; CBD 0% (ACT Labs)
TIP: To learn how you can use this cannabinoids data to better your health, see the Cannabinoids Library page.
Phenotype Profile: Very dense, very dank, full of pale, neon greens, copper pistils and glimmering with trichs.
Bud Density: 5 [1-5]
Terpene Profile: Beta-Caryophyllene 0.1572%; Alpha-Humulene 0.0598%; Limonene 0.0568%; Beta-Myrcene 0.3465%; Ocimene 0.0304%; Beta-Pinene 0.0288% (ACT labs)
In their intact state, these buds emitted citrus, sweet hash with notes of earth and sandalwood. Once ground, this sample smelled of bright citrus, spicy hash with some sweet notes. When smoked, this bud tasted mostly of spicy-sweet hash with notes of earth and even tropical hints on the exhale. An exceedingly smooth smoke, too.
TIP: To learn how you can use this terpenes data to better your health, see the Terpenes Library page.
Effects: Cerebral, focused, motivating, powerful. In short, a whole lot of energy. This is a great morning option. A great pairing with creative endeavors. It’s hard to wind-down from, so plan accordingly. I’ve found it can be somewhat trippy at high doses. Beginners should take it slow with this one.
Duration of Effects: 2+ hours, depending on dosage
May Help With: Helped with fatigue. May also help with depression, stress, appetite (and more)
NOTE: At higher doses, this strain can have the opposite effect on stress and cause panic so keep dosage in the low to moderate range if you’re targeting stress and anxiety.
A textbook example of Green Crack in every way. Simply perfect.
NOTE: For details about this 1-5 Rating Scale, click here.
Back at the station, the father explained that, “I-sth jus teachin im’ how a drive.” Yeah, how to drive to the nearest liquor store.
And remember, the next time you turn around, turn around again...’cause I’ll be there.
-Officer Dick Downey, Badge #710