Here’s a piece of fan mail I received just a few days ago...
After all these years, it’s time I said my peace. Just want to thank you for ruining what truly could have been an amazing and wonderful future for me and Vicky. How does it feel to have stepped on our destiny?
Mr. Edmund Dwyer
You dated my daughter Victoria in high school; that was over 20 years ago. But, I tell you what Edmund, Officer Downey has done his homework, so let’s play this thing out.
If I had never intervened, right now Victoria would be living a wonderful and amazing life on your $29,300 salary as the up and coming assistant manager of an American Mattress store. I know she would have loved driving a 2001 Hyundai Accent and raising a family in the paradise where you currently reside, a.k.a. the Pleasant Hills Mobile Home Park. And who wouldn’t want to be the wife of a two-time recipient of the coveted DWI award with an honorable mention for peeping in windows while drunk. By the way, how’s that little blue pill working out for you?
I’m real sorry about stepping on your destiny, son.
And remember Eddie, the next time you turn around, turn around again...’cause I’ll be there.
-Officer Dick Downey, Badge #710
Method(s) of Extraction: Butane, Carbon Dioxide (C02), Dry Sieve
Form: Caviar (aka, a moon rock type of product)
This cannabis product is typically a combination of flower, cannabis oil(s) and kief.
This specific batch of Revolution Asteroids included flower, C02 Hash Oil, Shatter and Kief!
Type: N/A A combination of several cannabis forms and strains.
Cannabis Components: This asteroid sample consists of the following 4 cannabis components -
Lake Shore Drive (LSD) flower = Unknown Genetics
The LSD flower is soaked in  Blue Cheese C02-extracted Cannabis Oil with Gorilla Glue Terpenes
(Blue Cheese = Skunk #1 X Afghani / Blueberry)
The C02 oil-soaked LSD flower is finished in  Rev Kush #2 shatter and  Rev Kush #1 Kief.
Manufactured By: Revolution
Date Purchased: 06/17/2016
Cannabinoids Profile: THCa 23.51%; THC 38.62%; CBDa .13%; CBD .34%; CBC .93; CBG 1.23%; CBN .18%; (LK Pure Labs)
TIP: To learn how you can use this cannabinoids data to better your health, see the Cannabinoids Library page.
Physical Characteristics: This is one insanely exotic cannabis product. As they say, a picture is worth a thousand words (see pic at top of page). The exterior was surprisingly solid, hard and not sticky at all. When cut into with a razor knife, the interior is soft, somewhat gooey and sticky. The green plant matter from the bud is also detectable on the inside once you get through the layers of kief, oil and shatter!
Delivery Method(s) Used: After you’re done staring at these crazy nugs, you’ll immediately ask yourself, “How the hell do I smoke ˋem?” For the purposes of this review, these asteroids were smoked from a glass pipe and vaporized with a glass dab rig.
TIPS: Using a dab rig isn't recommended due to the high likelihood of some combustion of plant material even at low dabbing temps, which results in a nasty final flavor and ash residue (don't want that in your dab rig). Probably the best way to enjoy caviar is with a high quality convection vaporizer, such as a Volcano® or Q-Extreme®. Using this method, you will probably be able to experience a much more complete profile of all these components and their various complex terpene profiles. Unfortunately, this reviewer didn't have one available for this review. The next best ways include smoking it through glass on its own or atop a filled bowl of bud.
Preparation: Cut off pieces using an X-ACTO® knife. Surprisingly, these particular nugs weren’t that difficult to handle. You can even gently break off pieces with your fingers if you’re careful because the exterior is hardly sticky.
Terpenes Experience: In its intact form, this caviar gives off just a slight sweet-hash odor. When smoked in a clean pipe, the flavor was similar to its aromas – an equal combination of very strong hash and what is probably Gorilla Glue sweetness. This reviewer is usually good at ferreting out the various genetic complexities of a strain or a blended extract, but it was difficult with this product. Because there’s so much going on and all these components have had a chance to meld together into a strong hashy dankness, it can overwhelm the palate. But you can get glimmers of Kush mixed with hash, pops of Gorilla Glue and notes of cheese, though you have to be attentive.
TIP: To learn all about terpenes, see the Terpenes Library page.
Effects: This was a shot of spacey right between the eyes along with a jolt of energy. As the high progresses, so do the body effects, along with moments of distraction and trippiness. The high can be heady at times. Overall, the effects favored the cerebral a little but body relaxation wasn’t far behind. Potential for raciness at higher doses.
Duration of Effects: 2+ hours
May Help With: some forms of body pain, muscle pain and spasms, headaches, mood, depression, some forms of nerve pain, arthritic symptoms, appetite (and more).
Asteroids, aka ‘Caviar’, are one of the most exotic cannabis concoctions in the market right now, and this batch is no exception. This LSD Asteroid is valid medicinally because it offers wide-ranging cannabinoid and terpene profiles along with dab-level potency. However, because of the different vaporization points of the extract components, combined with dried flower, finding a way to use it efficiently is difficult. If you smoke it conventionally with a butane lighter, you're not going to vaporize the extract components. And dabbing isn't really a realistic option unless you want a nasty taste from vaporizing flower. This critic sees caviar and other moon-rock style products as highly exotic and a bit of a novelty but I appreciate the bold eccentricity of them.
NOTE: For details about this 1-5 Rating Scale, click here.
I'm confident Victoria will somehow be able to pick up the pieces and move on.
-Officer Dick Downey, Badge #710
Officer Dick Downey's Pot Report
Your Illinois Cannabis Authority
Lake Shore Drive Asteroids: A Future Destroyed
Case: Lake Shore Drive Asteroids (Caviar)
File Date: 06/21/2016
Case No: 0019
He May Use Your Letter
in His Next Review
Twitter | @OfficerDowney