Twitter | @OfficerDowney
Officer Dick Downey's Pot Report
Case: Super Lemon Haze - Cresco (wax)
File Date: 06/13/2017
Case No: 0122
Super Lemon Haze - Cresco: Let the Stank Begin
Your Illinois Cannabis Authority
Every police officer in the city dreads what the hazey daze of summer bring: open air music festivals.
For about three months every year us cops have to baby sit all the kiddie tokers while they dab their devil's vine and spend their parents money on $40 t-shirts and glow sticks. Every year we have to contend with the dreadlocked throngs of suburban white kids who could have packed all of their necessary hygiene 'accoutrements', but instead decide to not shower for a week regardless of how many times they've puked and had random sex.
With this summer concert season in mind, I would like to offer this useful Public Service Announcement. If you happen to encounter Officer Dick Downey, Badge #710, at one of these music venues this summer, I highly recommend the following:
-Do NOT touch me. This includes hugs, kisses, handshakes, fist bumps, accidental bumps of any kind, licking, squeezing, poking, pinching, applying stickers, hanging glow sticks, touching me with your hipster beard or wannabe dreadlocks, or actually petting me while hallucinating or while not hallucinating.
-Do NOT do anything stupid. We'll have to have an encounter if I see you do any of the following: Partake in the devil's vine or any other illegal substance (p.s. Nitrous oxide "balloons" are illegal too), underage boozing, indecent exposure, sex in public, uncontrollable puking, staring at me for long periods of time, staring at my gun for long periods of time, calling me a pig, or asking me for my badge number and "demanding justice" when you are hallucinating or while not hallucinating.
-Do NOT do anything weird. Some obvious acts include communicating to me in baby talk, asking me for money, telling me how much you love cops while on a cocaine or ecstasy binge, offering me any homemade food such as a veggie burrito, trying to put my hat on, asking to see my gun, approaching me after you've pissed your pants and not realizing it, and especially asking me for a hug while hallucinating or while not hallucinating.
-Do NOT approach me if you smell foul. You know, if you stink.
Method of Extraction: Butane
Type: Sativa-Dominant Hybrid (typically 80 %/20%)
Genotype: Super Lemon Haze = Lemon Skunk X Super Silver Haze
2008 and 2009 High Times CC winner and first prize at the 2010 International Cannagraphic (IC) 420 Growers Cup
Purchased On: 05/13/2017
Packaged On: 02/09/2017
Manufactured On: Not on packaging, but "Date Tested" is 01/31/2017
Net Weight: 1g
Purchase Price: $60.60, tax included
NOTE: I do not identify dispensaries in my reviews. However, if you want to know the shop that's offering this pricing, I will provide it to anyone who requests it.
Delivery Method(s) Used: Glass dab rig w/ a quartz nail
Cannabinoids Profile: THCa 79.04%; THC 4.29%; CBDa .86%; CBD 0% (ACT Labs)
TIP: To learn how you can use this cannabinoids data to better your health, see the Cannabinoids Library page.
Characteristics: Light caramel colored, very fresh, soft and pliable.
Terpene Profile: Alpha-Bisabolol 0.0353%; Beta-Caryophyllene 1.6615%; Alpha-Humulene 0.4482%; Linalool 0.0938%; Limonene 0.4058%; Beta-Myrcene 0.2926%; Alpha-Pinene 0.0558%; Beta-Pinene 0.1014% Terpinolene 0.6576% (ACT Labs)
In its intact state, this wax emitted very noticeable sour citrus with sweet notes. When dabbed, this sample tasted of intense tart lemon with Hazey-sweetness and pungency. Very clean and flavorful.
TIPS: To learn how you can use this terpenes data to better your health, see the Terpenes Library page.
I have also reviewed additional cultivators' Super Lemon Haze products. See Product Reviews for a complete list.
Effects: What I enjoy about Super Lemon Haze is that it’s bright and uplifting in comfortable ways. It’s motivating and energetic without the cheap speed-like raciness or a heavy crash. Don’t get me wrong, the effects are potent, but they’re also clean and inviting.
Duration of Effects: 2-3 hours, depending on dosage
An excellent example of a Super Lemon Haze butane-derived wax.
NOTE: For details about this 1-5 Rating Scale, click here.
Stay hydrated, kiddies. We don't give out water in jail.
And remember, the next time you turn around, turn around again...’cause I’ll be there.
-Officer Dick Downey, Badge #710